1. TOILETS 2 - GEORGE MICHAEL 0
(Holy News / News)

GEORGE MICHAEL WILL NOT FACE CHARGES AFTER BEING CAUGHT WITH CRACK

2. GIRL, INTERRUPTED (BY THE ASA)
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLIE'S MOVIE POSTERS GET BANNED

3. SOUR CHILD O' OZZY'S
(Holy News / News)

AXL ROSE FANCIES KELLY OSBOURNE

4. PIC OF THE WEEK
(Holy News)

RUSSELL BRAND NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE HARIBO

5. OUR MONEY'S ON ROSEANNE
(Holy News / News)

ROSEANNE BARR BRANDS ANGELINA JOLIE 'EVIL'

6. THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE
(Holy News / News)

GHOST HELPS BILLY BOB THORNTON WRITE HIS SONGS

7. BOHEMIAN TRAGEDY
(Holy News / News)

MUSIC POLL CONFIRMS PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS

8. LUNATIC PLEADS GUILTY
(Holy News / News)

NAOMI CAMPBELL PLEADS GUILTY TO ASSAULT

9. CHOPPER!
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 10

10. SEX AND WRY
(Holy News / News)

CHRIS MARTIN WANTED TO BE POPULAR WITH THE LADIES

11. ANGELINA'S GUNS
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLIE HAS WEAPONS AND ISN'T AFRAID TO USE THEM

12. AMY'S KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR
(Holy News / News)

SLASH WORRIES ABOUT AMY WINEHOUSE'S FUTURE

13. PEPPER PLOT
(Holy News / News)

DR PEPPER MAKE AXL ROSE AN ENTICING OFFER

14. CRAP IDOL
(Holy News / News)

RIO FERDINAND ORGANISES 'RAP IDOL' FOR ANTI-GUN CAMPAIGN

15. HAVEN'T GOT A CLOONEY
(Holy News / News)

GEORGE CLOONEY GUNS FOR DAY-LEWIS

16. LYNX SAHARA
(Holy News / News)

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY ADMITS THAT HE SMELLS

17. SLASH CORDON
(Holy News / News)

SLASH REFUSED TO ALLOW MICHAEL JACKSON NEAR HIS CHILD

18. MISTAKEN NONENTITY
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN'S EX-BODYGUARD SUES CELEBRITY MAGAZINE

19. A LOAD OF OLD TATT
(Holy News / News)

WHO'S GOT THIS NEW TATTOO?

20. PANTS OF PHEW!
(Holy News / News)

WOGAN UNAPOLOGETIC FOR TROUSER BULGE

21. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

22. Let It Read
(Holy News / News)

Keith Richards beaten to the bookshelves by Ronnie Wood

23. Heeeeeeere's Hunter!
(Holy News / News)

Jack Nicholson cheated death at the hand of Hunter S Thompson

24. '24' Season seven news
(Holy News / News)

New cast member announced for '24'

25. And Here'sh Bob With The Newsh
(Holy News / News)

Sarah Kennedy slurs her way through radio show

26. Bowling For Asinine
(Holy News / News)

John Travolta solves the mystery of US high school shootings

27. American Highschool films
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e Take some fat ugly people and add some goths and geeks. Now take one loner student who owns too many guns. Add extra sugar and caffeine to the lunchtime menu and sell ammo at a local supermarket. S...

28. Axl Rose
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Guns n' Roses last put out an album of original material in 1991. Soon after, Axl fired the rest of the band (nice cunt) and proclaimed he was going to do the next album by himself. By his own admissi

29. Baker boy caps
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Do not evoke images of boys in Hovis ads, Kevin Rowland out of Dexys or hip young gunslingers in 'on trend' fashion. No, evoke an image of an utter cunt.

30. Guns & Roses
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For ensuring that no one can sing Bob Dylan's 'Knocking on Heavens Door" without putting that fucking annoying 'ay, ay, ay ay yeah' bit in between the chorus lines....and for generally being tossers.