1. I WANNA BE... BUTTERY
(Holy News / News)

JOHN LYDON TO BE THE FACE OF BUTTER BRAND

2. ONE, TWO BILLY'S COMING FOR YOU
(Holy News / News)

BILLY BOB THORNTON TO PLAY FREDDY KRUEGER

3. WAR OF THE STONE ROSES
(Holy News / News)

JOSS STONE TO APPEAR IN 'THE TUDORS' AS ANNE OF CLEVES

4. WIN FUNNY GAMES ON DVD AND A DVD PLAYER
(Holy News / Competition)

THREE COPIES OF FUNNY GAMES AND A DVD PLAYER UP FOR GRABS

5. BOHEMIAN TRAGEDY
(Holy News / News)

MUSIC POLL CONFIRMS PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS

6. WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY'S LIST OF THE WORST FATHERS EVER

7. WEST IS BEST
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN LOVES FRED AND ROSEMARY WEST

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

9. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

10. WE WILL SHOCK YOU
(Holy News / News)

BRIAN MAY SURPRISED THAT FREDDIE MERCURY WAS GAY

11. DAY 4: I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE
(Holy News / Im a Celebrity)

CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS ENTERS THE CAMP

12. I CAN GUT A BEAR!
(Holy News / Im a Celebrity)

Im A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Day 1

13. LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE'S LATEST FILM BOMBS AT THE BOX OFFICE

14. ONE KANGAROO ANUS PLEASE!
(Holy News / Im a Celebrity)

I'M A CELEBRITY SET TO BEGIN

15. TURN ON, TUNE IN, DROP OFF
(Holy News / News)

BOB GELDOF LAUNCHES NEW TV STATION

16. French Messing
(Holy News / News)

Jolie and Pitt enrol son in a private school

17. Where's Wino?
(Holy News / News)

Lynch mob hounds Amy Winehouse and her husband

18. The Prince is in the altogether
(Holy News / News)

Fake Prince stripped naked and robbed

19. Back on the Druggs Agane!
(Holy News / pete)

or the secret dairy of P Doeherty of babyshables #3

20. HM EXCLUSIVE: Nikki Grahame to host The Xtra Factor
(Holy News / News)

Big Brother's squawking ninny Nikki Grahame is to host ITV's Xtra Factor

21. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

22. I AM SPARTACUS
(Holy News / News)

OJ suggests he could be father to Niocole-Smith's child

23. I AM SPARTACUS
(Holy News / News)

OJ Simpson puts himself forward as a possible father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby

24. CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY CONTESTANTS
(Holy News / News)

Tara among Fame Academy hopefuls

25. CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY CONTESTANTS
(Holy News / News)

CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY CONTESTANTS announced

26. WIN EXCLUSIVE T-SHIRTS
(Holy News / News)

Holy Moly t-shirt competition

27. WIN EXCLUSIVE T-SHIRTS
(Holy News / News)

WIN EXCLUSIVE T-SHIRTS

28. A film on BBC2 this Sunday afternoon.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

A film on BBC2 this sunday afternoon. Stars Fred McMurray and Vera Miles "A saxophonist starts a scout troup to try and impress a school teacher" Why not just describe the film as paedo fun for

29. band reunions
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ll the posing and pouting was meant to be erotic – instead it looked like someone had been digging up Fred West’s garden. ...

30. Derek Conway
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Tory cunt pays his son, Freddy, £45k for so-called "back room work" - oh, aye - and is deemed to have acted in an "irregular" manner by paying the twat suspect "bonuses" totalling £13,000. Plus ther