1. CAN'T LET IT BE
(Holy News / News)

SIR PAUL SET TO WED FOR A THIRD TIME?

2. ULRIKA-KA-KA TO WAKE UP BRITAIN?
(Holy News / News)

ULRIKA JONSSON IN TALKS TO LAND TOP JOB ON GMTV

3. AT THE END OF HER HEATHER
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS GOES ON GMTV AGAIN

4. DARK, SATANIC MILLS
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS APPEALING DIVORCE SETTLEMENT

5. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

GUY RITCHIE'S MOTHER ON THE BRITISH ADOPTION CRISIS

6. Fiona MacKeown
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I will say what the media has been dancing around since your daughter was murdered...You stupid fucking cow, for abandoning your daughter while you go off being a selfish hippy, leaving her in the car

7. Fiona Phillips
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You're a complete cunt, you stupid, old, haggard, fake tanned, obnoxious, blonde cunt. Fuck off breakfast morning television, you cunt. You make me want to regurgitate my breakfast. Cunt

8. Fiona Phillips
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For fucking annoying me every morning apart from Saturdays and Sundays. Stupid cunt.

9. News readers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Fiona Bruce (on the diana anniversary) - 'and over to our royal correspondant, Can you tell us how the boys are feeling today?' - Hmmmmm let me guess - they are extatic, over the moon, infact some wou

10. On GMTV, Fiona Phillips will not say more than 4 w...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

On GMTV, Fiona Phillips will not say more than 4 words without consulting her notes