1. OFFSPRING OF GIANT FACE ON MYSPACE
(Holy News / News)

GALAXY-FACED ACTRESS HOSTS NEW BABY PICTURES ON MYSPACE

2. ALRIGHT, AGAIN?
(Holy News / News)

LILY ALLEN AND ED SIMONS ARE BACK ON

3. LIBERTY SEX
(Holy News / News)

MICHELLE HEATON RUMOURED TO HAVE CHEATED ON HUSBAND WITH MATT DI ANGELO

4. SOAP BAR OPERA?
(Holy News / News)

JAMES ALEXANDROU CAUGHT SMOKING SUSPICIOUS CIGARETTE

5. PARIS NO MATES
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON FAILS TO ATTRACT FRIENDS

6. PETEY NO MATES
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY HAS NO VISITORS IN PRISON

7. TOTALLY NOT JODIE MARSH'S REAL BREASTS
(Holy News / News)

WE RUIN AN EXCLUSIVE FOR JODIE MARSH

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

9. OBLIGATORY YOU TUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

DOES REAL LIFE HAPPEN BETWEEN BLOG POSTS AND EMAIL?

10. BACK TO BLAKE
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE'S NEW BLAKE IS GAY

11. A LOAD OF MODERN TOSS
(Holy News / Competition)

ASK MODERN TOSS STARS QUESTIONS AND WIN STUFF

12. Isn't it amazing what you can find on Facebook?
(Holy News / News)

A motley collection of 'celebrities' found on Facebook

13. PICTURE OF THE WEEK
(Holy News / News)

The art of cropping (for Facebook)

14. LiLo Gets Lezzo With Sammo
(Holy News / News)

Lindsay Lohan’s MySpace hacked, love letters to Samantha Ronson leaked

15. Dean Gaffney
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For having the cheek to abuse me when I stumbled over his page on Facebook and told him "You're a right cunt, you are!" I hope nobody else searches for "Dean Gaffney" on www.facebook.com or clicks on

16. Facebook
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Because, and this is no fucking joke, I just had a half an hour argument with my girlfriend for not poking her back after she poked me yesterday. What the fuckingfuck?!

17. facebook
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

if i want to spell colour with a 'u' i will. stop it with your stupid red underline. american spelling cunt

18. facebook
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

mortimer is a travelling bear if you receive him pleae pass him on, how does FUCK OFF sound, and the same goes for all that vampire, and 80's quiz's bollox!

19. Facebook
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For implying that "poking" someone is the height of flirting. I only know one guy that used to poke people in real life and he was a twat.

20. Facebook
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Since I split up with my missus I have set my status to "single". Facebook takes this as a sign to bombard me with adverts saying the likes of "30 and still single?". Seriously fuck off you data steal

21. Facebook
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...he sea and blame it on a pedalo accident. I hope your husband's shafting the maid whilst you're off being a facebook cuntwhore....

22. Facebook - The Movie
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7585632.stm Oh for FUCK'S SAKE. This redefines cuntdom. Just make sure you get people speaking at 100mph in it like everything else you make eh Aaron you over

23. Facebook admin staff
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

What kind of cunt begins an error message with 'Hey!'?

24. Facebook Cunts
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Oh fuck my life, Lord. 'People you might know'... Dick Darstardly Muttley Eddi Grant Jesus etc etc etc all because I have mutual 'friends' in common with them. Which actually translates as some f

25. Facebook fans
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Anthony Sideparting has become a fan of Red Dwarf. Susan Plumspender has become a fan of Daniel Bedingfield. John Curtains has become a fan of orange fruit pastilles. Peter Skytrousers quite likes dul

26. Facebook Gifts
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

$1.50 for a lemon that's not real? Fuck off! I can't sqeeze it, eat it, touch it, put it in my drink or fuck it, so there's no fucking way I'm going to pay to send it to one of my friends!! Cunts.

27. Facebook Scousers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For summing up Liverpool's unique mix of fake concern, public displays of grief and violence in the group 'R.I.P. Rhys Jones/Find the scum who killed him'. Also... fuck off to anyone who sends me a '

28. Facebook status updaters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"**** is looking forward to the weekend !!" "**** is hungover lol lol !!!" etc. Fuck off, no-one cares.

29. Facebook Users
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... and tagge 14 drunked twats Katie has given Jon a vampire challenge electronic fish arsey wipey pointless Facebooky piccy thingy Oh fuck off. What was wrong with e-mail or instant messenging? A...

30. Facebook's "Bogglific" application
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

you utter cunt, how am i supposed to get ANYTHING done now?