1. BRAT BOOKS
(Holy News / News)

GERI HALLIWELL TALKS ABOUT WRITING CHILDREN'S BOOKS

2. SHALLOW KNAVE
(Holy News / News)

EWAN MCGREGOR GREATLY ADMIRES DANIEL DAY-LEWIS

3. EMPIRE FILM AWARDS
(Holy News / News)

EMPIRE AWARDS PHOTO GALLERY

4. I PREDICT A DIET
(Holy News / News)

KAISER CHIEFS SINGER IS MISTAKEN FOR EWAN MCGREGOR

5. AND AS IF BY MAGIC...
(Holy News / News)

MARK FRITH ANNOUNCES HIS DIARIES ARE TO BE PUBLISHED IN THE AUTUMN

6. AMY WINEHOUSE UPDATE
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE RUSHED TO HOSPITAL

7. THE BORE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE
(Holy News / News)

EWAN MCGREGOR IS FED UP WITH THE UK

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

9. Ewan McGregor's Cotton Balls
(Holy News / News)

Star Wars actor Ewan McGregor stocks up on 'package' boosting undies

10. Jordan Writes Crap New Book
(Holy News / News)

Glamour model Jordan writes a new novel

11. Jordan writes crap new book
(Holy News / News)

Jordan announces new novel called Crystal

12. Ewan McGregor
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

He is blatently Ginger . Cunt

13. Ewan McGregor
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For the love of God pull your head out of your arse and get over yourself you twat

14. The book-buying public
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Non-Fiction Top 10... 1:Russell Brand 2:Richard Hammond 3:Jeremy Clarkson 4:Ewan McGregor & John Boorman's son 5: Lewis Hamilton 6: Some cunt I've never heard of with one of those shite 'learn how

15. The Engineer, Primrose Hill
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...tish artisitic talent in one fell swoop. Aaargh, Jude! Help Sean, quick! Look! There's what's left of Ewan's talent vaporising before mine eyes!...

16. Bernard Manning
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...ard feelings, eh?" Racist he may have been, but a cunt he certainly wasn't. Besides, I'd like to see arsewanks like the Mighty Boosh play a rough working men's club in Barnsley. They'd be bricking it....

17. Danny Boyle
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For even trying to get Ewan 'prima donna' McGregor to play Renton in Porno. Fingers crossed Danny.

18. Keeley Hawes is the female Ewan McGregor. Fuckin s...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Keeley Hawes is the female Ewan McGregor. Fuckin shit eating grin.