1. EU MUST BE JOKING
(Holy News / News)

EDDIE IZZARD CONSIDERS A CAREER IN POLITICS

2. TAKE TACHE AND (LABOUR) PARTY
(Holy News)

PETER MANDELSON IS A MEMBER OF THE TAKE THAT FAN CLUB

3. GET OFF YOUR HIGH HAT
(Holy News / News)

RINGO STARR CLAIMS HE WAS THE BEST DRUMMER IN THE BEATLES

4. TARNISHED BALLS
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BECKHAM FAILS TO SEE CANCER CHILDREN IN AUSTRALIA

5. HOTT DOGG
(Holy News / News)

SNOOP DOGGY DOGG HAS HIS FOOD SPIKED

6. HE IS ONLY NOT OBEYING ORDERS
(Holy News / News)

CHELSEA STAR DEFIES MANAGER’S ORDERS AND ATTENDS MTV AWARDS

7. SCOUSE PARTY
(Holy News / News)

LIVERPOOL TO HOST 2008 MTV AWARDS

8. BROWN BUTTS IN
(Holy News / News)

MELANIE BROWN HEADBUTTS DANCE PARTNER - ACCIDENTALLY

9. Bono is a Cock
(Holy News / News)

Bono and Cherie Blair unveil utterly pointless fountain

10. Apprentice World Exclusive!
(Holy News / News)

The contestants for the new series of The Apprentice have been announced

11. Apprentice World Exclusive!
(Holy News / News)

contestants named in BBC's The Apprentice

12. SPEAK PEACE UNTO NATIONS
(Holy News / News)

SPEAK PEACE UNTO NATIONS

13. KNIGHTLY FINDS RIGHT WAY TO USE TWO FINGERS
(Holy News / News)

Keira Knightly denies anorexia

14. BRIGHTONS COCK!
(Holy News / News)

BRIGHTONS COCK!

15. Daily Mail (again)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For this leaked email doing the rounds, asking for horror stories about East Europeans. "PUBLICATION: Daily Mail (Request for personal case study) JOURNALIST: Diana Appleyard (staff) DEADLINE:

16. European Crisps
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Tastless waste of time

17. Gap Year Students
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...s the mind but yours will probably stay closed and narrowly confined with the other Australians and Western Europeans you will drink with- and if you're really naughty, smoke weed with. Even worse ...

18. Hair extension users
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... even perform a simple task like growing their own hair so resort to purchasing hair harvested from eastern european street urchins desperate for a meal and a bed that doesn't involve them being raped...

19. HolyMoly users
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...litarian stand against pretention) CRAP. Subconsciously xenophobic, especially to Americans and continental Europeans, who you decry with a venomous contempt - obesity; gun-toting; blah blah blah, whi...

20. james blunt
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

for wanting 75 euro´s per ticket for his european concerts,fuck off you greedy cunt,your not springsteen,rolling stones or pink floyd,your james blunt,you only have 2 cd´s,in 20 years and 20 cd´s l

21. Liverpool European Capital of Culture
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

McCanns, experts of babysitting. Blair, champion of truth. Northern Rock, safe as the Bank of England. HM Revenue and Customs, stalwart guardians of private information. Politicians, don't do it f

22. London Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... be something that epitomises the culture and identity of the host country. Knife-wielding teenage eastern European prositute drug-dealer married to a premiership footballer, living in a council flat...

23. Moulay Ismail (Sultan of Morocco)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...interested Sultan of Morocco 1646-1727 was indeed a cunt for many reasons: slave trading ..especially white Europeans. Slave breeding, slave torture. A despotic barbaric blood-thirsty muslim maniac! W...

24. Scousers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Lads, you're going to become the European Capital of Culture in a year's time - don't you think it's about time you got round to sorting yourselves out? As an inhabitant of a civilised city, I'd like

25. The British People
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e inbred hand-extended socialists of Britain. Yet you accept it and do nothing about it apart from sucking European cock. My God, so many people gave their lives in giving you British scum your fre...

26. The European Commission
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Just when you thought flying couldn't get any more stressful, boring, frustrating and generally fucking shit, these Brussells-based wankdogs have decided to change the rules so people can use their cu

27. The Hawley Arms
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Zyclone B is still available in some eastern european blackmarkets - you have no excuse

28. The Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ntry and we're rebuilding Stratford so we all have the opportunity to watch a bunch of hairy-armpitted East European women lob a shotput a few meters. Jesus H. Synchronised-Swimming Christ!...

29. uefa website
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

for compounding my grief at the european success of rangers by headlining an article on the press reaction of the game with this gem: 'what the mcpapers said'. hideous.

30. USA Poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...marments to keep us going and then hundreds of thousands of their young men gave their lives to free shitty European countries who now criticise everything they do or say. You historically ignorant...