1. BIRTHDAY MILEY-STONE MILLSTONE
(Holy News / News)

HANNAH MONTANA STAR MILEY CYRUS IS FORCED TO WORK ON HER 16TH BIRTHDAY

2. JOHNNY CASH
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY DEPP KEEPING BUSY FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS

3. THE STRIFE OF MILEY
(Holy News / News)

MILEY CYRUS TO TAKE ON DISNEY?

4. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

5. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

MATT DAMON TALKS ABOUT THE POTENTIAL US VICE PRESIDENT

6. IT DISNEY LOOK GOOD
(Holy News / News)

MILEY CYRUS OFFERED CONDOM CONTRACT

7. ABSTINENCE AND THE CITY
(Holy News / News)

MILEY CYRUS MISSES MOST OF THE POINT OF SEX AND THE CITY

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

10. HUGH PERVERT
(Holy News / News)

MILEY CYRUS OFFERED TO POSE NAKED FOR PLAYBOY AT 18

11. SOUP OF THE DAY
(Holy News / News)

JODIE MARSH AND NEW BOOBS OUT FOR LAUNCH OF BAR

12. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

13. A WHOLE NEW ALBUM
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN AND PETER ANDRE PLAN NEW ALBUM

14. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

15. EXILED FROM BRAIN STREET
(Holy News / News)

KEITH RICHARDS SLURS HIS WAY THROUGH AN AWARDS CEREMONY

16. JOLIE NOT JOLLY ON WACKY BACCY
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLE: JUST AS BORING AS ANYONE ELSE ON DRUGS

17. Any Chance Of A Lohan Till Payday?
(Holy News / News)

Lindsay Lohan to be dropped by her music and film bosses

18. And Goofy Came Too
(Holy News)

Britney and Kevin to have a post-divorce holiday at Disney World

19. Can You Feel The Drugs Tonight?
(Holy News / News)

Pete Doherty is to perform Disney song at London concert

20. Jordan Bennett!
(Holy News / News)

Jordan Bennett!

21. French people at Disneyland Paris
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

It's called a queue & you join the back of it to wait your fucking turn you arrogant, ignorant cunts.

22. Jack Johnson
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Your new album sounds like the outro to a mediocre, animated Disney movie, telling the story of calamitous talking dogs; one of whom is played by Steve Martin.

23. People who say "in my heart of hearts"
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

It's just a completely crap analogy, it's about as vacuous and nonsensical as a Disney Channel special. Pity they didn't give you a brain of brains eh?

24. Pixar Animation
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

There was once a time, many years ago, when Disney churned out top quality entertainment, and timeless, classic films such as Bambi, Snow White and various others (at least I think they're classics!).

25. Wealthy Arab Sheikhs
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ed to buy Liverpool Football Club. If they really are desperate to buy a Mickey Mouse outfit, surely Euro Disney, or even the Disney Store is a cheaper option? More-money-than-sense cunts....

26. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for any h...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for any human with half an ounce of self-respect to enter a Disney-Store.

27. The only thing required to make a sucessful teenag...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

The only thing required to make a sucessful teenage actress for Kids films, TV & Disney Channel dreck, is the ability to leave your mouth gaping & slack jawed at the end of every sentence.And to succe