1. O-WAH-WAH-WAH-P
(Holy News / News)

KYLIE MINOGUE ADMITS TO A CRUSH ON PAUL MCCARTNEY

2. A. PRESS RELEASE
(Holy News / News)

Amy Winehouse: Police To Take No Further Action

3. YOU'RE 16, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU'RE ANYBODY'S
(Holy News / News)

JAMIE-LYNN SPEARS HAS A RELAXED ATTITUDE TO SEX

4. WHO WON'T LET THE DOGG IN?
(Holy News / News)

SNOOP DOGG CELEBRATES VISA WIN ON US TELEVISION

5. WIN A SKATEBOARD
(Holy News / Competition)

A SKATEBOARD AND PARANOID PARK GOODIES ON OFFER

6. WIN AQA BOOKS
(Holy News / Competition)

TEN ANY QUESTION ANSWERED BOOKS FOR GRABS

7. TEARS DON'T DRY IN THE COLD
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE CAUGHT HALF NAKED IN THE STREET CRYING

8. WIN BOURNE ULTIMATUM GOODIES
(Holy News / Competition)

BOXSET AND T-SHIRT UP FOR GRABS

9. SPINNING AROUND
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA TO HELP PROMOTE GUY RITCHIE'S FILM IN US

10. TELETEXT COMPETITION TERMS AND CONDITIONS
(Holy News / Competition)

T&CS FOR THE HM TELETEXT COMP

11. IT'S NOT OVER YET
(Holy News / News)

RICHARD AND JUDY ANNOUNCE SPIN OFF SERIES OF BOOK CLUB

12. WORKING CLASS HAIRDO
(Holy News / News)

YOUR CHANCE TO BUY SOME OF JOHN LENNON�S HAIR

13. TITS THE SEASON FOR SOME FOLLY
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN PLANS A FOURTH BREAST JOB

14. LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN!
(Holy News / News)

MICHAEL JACKSON TO APPEAR ON THE X FACTOR

15. Whine-On-A-Gain
(Holy News / News)

Winona Ryder reveals why she went shoplifting

16. ARE BUSTED BUSTED?
(Holy News / News)

ARE BUSTED BUSTED?

17. The Hex Factor
(Holy News / News)

The Hex Factor

18. 2007
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... a TV advert, a most reliable source of information, 2007 is the year of Mark Ronson. Good job it's already December then isn't it....

19. Hard-Fi and NME
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...� album. Perry is a big influence on the band" "Hard-Fi famously branded Led Zeppelin “dinosaurs” last December, with drummer Steve Kemp complaining “paying over £100 for a ticket is a joke" ...

20. My sister
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ifts she wants from us, her family and friends, or stuffing herself with Christmas dinner and chocolates on December 25th though, does it? Talking of hypocrisy, wasn’t it you, sister dear, this ...

21. People who say: "Oooh it's cold".
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

It's December for fuck sake. What do you expect? Heatstroke?

22. The Decemberists
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The guys voice/whine makes me want to shit in a glass and gargle with it.

23. Warm fat bastards on the train
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

It's December and you think it's high summer, you stupid, rhinoceros-skinned, t-shirt wearing cock. So you open every window you can reach and I have to sit there shivering in the cold like a fucking

24. weather forecasters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...with rain, what do we get, blazing sunshine with the odd cloud, not a fucking drop. What you predicting for December, temperatures reaching 30, high risk for hayfever sufferers. My grandad can forecas...

25. Colin Maloy - Lead Singer Decemberists
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

A fat man with glasses called Colin crowd surfing with his acoustic guitar? Cock on.

26. The Decemberists
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Like The Levelllers. But not shit. Marvellous.

27. Upon beginning a new job, a woman will approach yo...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...fter will she do anyting more 'mad' than briefly wear some fake reindeer antlers at the staff lunch on 23rd December....

28. Even though they have more shopping to do in the r...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...gh they have more shopping to do in the run up to Christmas, consumers will always walk much more slowly in December than during the rest of the year....

29. STOCKING FILLERS
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...e of Last Christmas by Wham (used). If you can get to Holy Moly HQ (Chelsea in London) by 1pm on Friday 5th December 2007, then mail us and you can take the LOT home with you. If you are a PR c...

30. CALIFORNICATION
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...) Prison Break stops filming next week and might be back but might not and worst of all HEROES is ending on December 3rd. They've rewritten the season finale but Heroes: Origins has been scrapped ...