1. HELL'S KITCHEN
(Holy News / News)

BECKHAM AND RAMSEY: A DINER'S DELIGHT?

2. THE STUPIDEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET
(Holy News / News)

SUZANNE SHAW ADMITS TO BEING THICK AND IGNORANT

3. PURE AND SIMPLE
(Holy News / News)

SUZANNE SHAW NAMED 'MOTHER OF THE YEAR'

4. RACCOON WHISPERER
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON BLESSED WITH RACCOON EXPERTISE

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. EVERYTHING IS PRETTY FAR FROM OK
(Holy News / News)

OK host a party which fills up with people you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire

7. Serial Love Rat Turns To Bachelor Boy
(Holy News / News)

Darren Day turned to Cliff Richard for moral guidance

8. HM EXCLUSIVE!
(Holy News / News)

HM EXCLUSIVE!

9. Andy Murray
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The tennis equivalent of Darren Anderton.

10. Butlins
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

'Famous faces launched at Butlins' - Cliff Richard, Michael Barrymore, Darren Day and Ian "H" Watkins and Lisa Scott-Lee of Steps. Fuck worrying about terrorist training camps, this is where the tr

11. Darren Stephens (Bewitched)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If my wife was a fine-ass witch, I wouldn't be working in advertising believe you me. Cunt.

12. Derren Brown
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Derren ?!? trying to be special, just change your name back to Darren you cunt. Just because you were probably thrown out of the magic circle, doesnt mean you can confuse us all with your shit mind tr

13. Larry Tate (Bewitched)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For singularly failing to realise that Darren's wife is a witch and continuing to try and close advertising deals at his house. Look you silver haired cunt, how many dinner parties/deals do you want t

14. R 'n' B
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...h substance as OK! Magazine combined with all the meaning of ITV2, rolled up in a shit-sandwich, eaten by Darren Day and shat into a vacuum. You can tell a lot about someone who claims to be a fan ...