1. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

2. IT WAS ME, MINI-ME
(Holy News / News)

SOURCE OF VERNE TROYER SEX TAPE REVEALED

3. BABY, I LOVE YOUR WAGE
(Holy News / News)

BRAD AND ANGELINA TO GET HUGE SUM FOR TWINS PICTURES

4. POP CAREER DOWN THE LOOS
(Holy News / News)

REBECCA LOOS TO RELEASE POP SINGLE?

5. DUDE, WHERE'S THAT BAR?
(Holy News / News)

ASHTON KUTCHER'S PARTY MAY HAVE INFECTED THE 'A' LIST

6. IT'S 4PM, WE'RE BORED...
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY'S ALTERNATIVE TO VICTORIA'S SECRET SEXY LIST

7. CATWALK OF SHAME
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA BECKHAM'S SOLO SPOT IN SPICE GIRLS CONCERT

8. DISH FACE DISGRACE
(Holy News / News)

SOPHIE ELLIS BEXTOR HAS ANOTHER POP AT POSH SPICE

9. ROTTERS NATION
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY OFFICIALLY UGLIST MAN ALIVE

10. ON THE UDDER HAND...
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN TRIES TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH POSH SPICE

11. LOOK AT ME, JUST DON'T LISTEN
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA BECKHAM UNHAPPY AT GERI'S SINGING PLANS

12. PROFANE YET MUNDANE
(Holy News / News)

JOHN LYDON VOWS TO CARRY ON SWEARING

13. JOLIE HARD WORKER
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLIE AND BRAD PITT WON'T MAKE MOVIES TOGETHER

14. Is You Chattin' At Me?
(Holy News / News)

Smash your TV, Jade Goody returns

15. In your face, Williams!
(Holy News / News)

Take That track tipped for Oscars success

16. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

17. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

18. Mess O'Connor
(Holy News / News)

Sinead O'Connor talks about war and religion. Again.

19. Jordan Impatient with The Patient
(Holy News / News)

Jordan aka Katie Price is pleased with Peter Andre's recovery

20. darius danesh
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

there's a million and one reasons why this one's a massive cunt, in fact so great is his cuntness that he could share a labia with Bono. Anyway, I nominated him because he was on GMTV (cunt enough) an

21. Darius Danesh
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You can't sing, you can't act, your certainly not Clarke Gable so stop acting like it...you complete and utter knobhead wanker...now piss off back to LA and leave us alone!

22. Scott Mills
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... of" London, he's from London you fucking idiot. Learn to talk properly and cop on that your already mundane and juvenile prank calls do not get any funnier the more times you play them. Get back to t...

23. Sudanese authorities
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You humourless twats... "teacher held over teddy bear row"??? TEDDY BEAR? I know there's fuck all to do in the Sudan except take yourselves way too seriously but calm down for fuck's sake.

24. Sudanese protesters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

IT WAS ONLY A FUCKING TEDDY BEAR, GET OVER IT!!!

25. You....or is it just me?
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... my every nerve. These brief moments of exquisite wonder enrich and bring purpose to my otherwise mundane and meaningless existence. The heady aroma of my engorged genitalia fills my nostrils with ...

26. HM
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Takes the mundane slice of my life and adds cherries.

27. How to make a Quentin Tarantino film. 1. Hire w...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

... has curtailed somewhat. 2. Use a cool soundtrack. 3. Characters have in depth conversations about mundane subject matter. 4. Kill lots of people. 5. Include lots of geek wank fantasty material (U...

28. By this time next year David Beckham will be as ba...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

By this time next year David Beckham will be as bald as Zinedine Zidane.

29. There is no word for "perspective" in Sudanese....
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

There is no word for "perspective" in Sudanese.

30. Peanut allergy sufferers-  bring excitement i...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Peanut allergy sufferers-  bring excitement into your mundane lives by playing russian roullete with a packet of Revels.