1. SOMETHING IN THE WATER
(Holy News / News)

THREE CORONATION STREET STARS ANNOUNCE PREGANCY ON THE SAME DAY

2. GUESS THE TATTOO
(Holy News / News)

WHICH CELEBRITY IS THIS TATTOO SUPPOSED TO BE OF?

3. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

GAIL PLATT DANCES DOWN THE STAIRS

4. BLYTHE SPIRIT
(Holy News / News)

GWYNETH PALTROW'S MARRIAGE IS FINE, SAYS HER MOTHER

5. HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!
(Holy News / News)

GAIL PORTER MOANS ABOUT HER LARGE BREASTS

6. WE ARE FEELING VERY SLEEPY...
(Holy News / News)

CHRIS MARTIN HIRES A HYPNOTIST TO HELP HIM COMPLETE ALBUM

7. JOY TO THE WORLD
(Holy News / News)

CHRIS MARTIN IS NOT AS POLITE AS HIS DAUGHTER

8. I THINK I'M A CELEBRITY SO GET ME OUT OF HERE
(Holy News / News)

I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE LINE-UP

9. CALL ME NORTHERN, CALL ME MALE
(Holy News / News)

MORRISSEY IS VOTED 'MOST NORTHERN MALE'

10. A Kerry Newsworthy Year
(Holy News / News)

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft are back together

11. Coronation chicken
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Is not fit for consumption never mind the queen.

12. Coronation Street
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If I wanted to see whinging fucking northerners banging on about their hard lives I'd get in car and drive there.

13. Coronation Street Carla
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

for invading my dreams last night in black lingerie, resulting in me blurting her name out at 4am much to my wife's interest.

14. Dr Who poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...its a science fiction programme produced by the BBC you stupid cunt. If it was made by ITV it would be set in Coronation Street....

15. GMTV
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e I'M phoning in to answer questions like: What is the first letter of the alphabet. Is it: a) A b) Z c) Coronation Street. And then failing to win a two week all expenses trip to somewhere sh...

16. itv rugby world cup coverage
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Why don't you just fuck off back to coronation st and leave sport alone. On a more constructive note, Jim Rosenthal would benefit greatly from a good hard kick in the cunt.

17. Nigel Kennedy
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ical music. But dicking about on the Proms, dressed like a tramp and playing what sounded like the theme from Coronation Street makes you look a right cunt....

18. Shaun from Coronation St
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Since when did being such a shameless mincer become so fashionable? The cunt factor on this arse-bandit is off the scale.

19. The British People
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...nly are you stupid fucks useless at football and rugby, you can't even speak your "Own" language properly... "Coronation Street", "Eastenders" anybody?, You backwards cunts can't even get your jealou...

20. Coronation Street
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Gail Platt: “You put drugs in Bethany’s dolls head!”

21. If, like me, you've not done a lot of travelling i...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...agine that the rest of the world really exists, much easier just to think of it as a place on the telly, like Coronation street....

22. liz mcdonalds tits are the sole reason to watch co...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

liz mcdonalds tits are the sole reason to watch coronation street

23. As a heterosexual male, it is impossible to watch ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

As a heterosexual male, it is impossible to watch Coronation Street without wondering who would be better - Carla, Maria, Sally, Fizz or Rosie? Rosie raises troubling questions which remind one of a G

24. Nobody has ever had a wank whilst thinking about c...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Nobody has ever had a wank whilst thinking about coronation streets Emily Bishop

25. It's impossible to watch Craig Charles on Coronati...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

It's impossible to watch Craig Charles on Coronation Street anymore without thinking of him masturbating furiously and smoking crack through a lager can in the back of a taxi.

26. Don't bother looking in the dictionary for the def...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Don't bother looking in the dictionary for the definition of desperation, just watch an episode of Coronation Street.