1. LEGEND OF THE CARIBBEAN
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY DEPP RECORDS TAPE TO BRING GIRL OUT OF COMA

2. VIVA FOREVER
(Holy News / News)

GERI HALLIWELL HELPED SAVE FANS LIFE

3. STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER
(Holy News / News)

RESTRAINING ORDER ISSUED AGAINST BRITNEY'S MANAGER

4. I QUITE LIKE THE ODYSSEY
(Holy News / News)

JIM DAVIDSON DENIES HE IS HOMOPHOBIC

5. Macca Jumps Bridget's Bones?
(Holy News / News)

Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger enjoy a romantic dinner

6. Catherine 'Beater' Jones
(Holy News / News)

Michael Douglas saved from a snake by Catherine Zeta-Jones

7. Jaded, us?
(Holy News / News)

Jade Goody in News Of The World

8. Austrian Cellar Coma Girl
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...one nasty horrible sexual predator through the bizarre good fortune of your illness you awake from your coma and declare you'd like to see a Robbie Williams concert and meet him ? some fucking idio...

9. Grammys
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I used to be embarrased about what other countries must think of the coma-inducing bland-fest that is the Brit Awards. Then I watched the Grammys, and I must say I think I'd rather watch every Brit Aw

10. Ja Rule
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...er cunt, all you fucking do is ''spit lyrics'' over someone elses work in your faked growly voice, then comapre yourself to Eminem, Dr Dre etc etc. Massive cunt....

11. Overly aggressive motorists
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ell, heaven forfend, result in you having to delay your scheduled masturbating yourself into teary-eyed coma whilst you stare forlornly at a pile of your own faeces, wearing your mother's wedding dres...

12. Robbie Williams
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...I mention that?), boring fucking ringpiece was off our hands for good, Kerstin Fritzl wakes up from her coma and asks to see what? Anyone? That's right - a Robbie Williams gig. Jesus wept. Stand by fo...

13. The Time of Your Life
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Really? Well why don't some of the poor, coma-recovering girl's friends or family allow her to enjoy it by giving her a fucking haircut and getting her some new clothes. She's been looking like that f

14. Richard Harris
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Nobody drank and told stories like this fucking legend. Carried out almost comatose from The Savoy after a marathon drinking session and still mustered the strength to tell the watching crowd "Don''t