1. CHEEKY CHRISTMAS
(Holy News / News)

CHEEKY GIRLS VISIT FATHER CHRISTMAS

2. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

GMTV Reporter rides rollercoaster and is scared to death

3. People who visit Blackpool Illuminations
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Fuck why? Have you never seen a lightbulb before? You drive miles to sit in a massive queue of traffic just to watch some cheap coloured fucking bulbs. And to add to that you pay the street-traders a

4. Listening to any more than four seconds of any Jam...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Listening to any more than four seconds of any James Blunt song is the equivalent of being stuck in Blackpool in a storm having lost your car keys, wallet and mobile phone.