1. DEAD MAN WALKING
(Holy News / News)

HALLOWEEN INSPIRES THE QUESTIONABLE RESURRECTION OF HEATH LEDGER

2. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

3. GRAVEYARD SHAFT
(Holy News / News)

ISAAC HAYES DIES AGED 65

4. A BAD KNIGHT
(Holy News / News)

THE DARK KNIGHT PREMIERE PICTURE GALLERY

5. I'm Still Standing, unfortunately
(Holy News / News)

Elton John puts comfort before death in suicide attempt

6. Bernie Ecclestone
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

for being a five foot greying ugly dwarf bastard billionaire with a 6'2 slovakian model wife twenty years his junior.

7. Bernie Mac
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

He was cool.

8. Charlie Brooker
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For his descruption of what he fear the London Olympic Opening Ceremony will be: Six roman candles, Bernie Clifton riding his ostrich, and some Britain's Got Talent prick-a-ma-boob beatboxing on a

9. Hitler
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

He was the 1930's Elton John to Goebells Bernie Taupin , one wrote the words the other performed. Mind you Hitler had far less of a temper than Elton and better dress sense. "Blue eyes aryans have b

10. Jimmy Krankie + Thora Hird = Bernie Ecclestone...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Jimmy Krankie + Thora Hird = Bernie Ecclestone

11. Bernie Ecclestone looks like a cat's anus...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Bernie Ecclestone looks like a cat's anus

12. Celebrities die in 3's - Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Celebrities die in 3's - Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, ________ (fill in by end of week).