1. I'M JUST GOING TO BE MYSELF AND IF PEOPLE LIKE ME THEN THAT'S A BONUS
(Holy News / Big Brother)

big brother 9 housemates sound like a sensible, well balanced group of individuals

2. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

3. STOP! HAMMER TIME!
(Holy News / News)

JAMES BLUNT TO HAVE TREATMENT ON BROKEN FINGER

4. JUST 'FRIENDS'
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER ANISTON IS NOT DATING ORLANDO BLOOM

5. LOVE IS THE MUG
(Holy News / News)

COURTNEY LOVE INSISTS SHE HAS HAD $200M STOLEN BY FRAUDSTERS

6. THE BOWEL AND THE FUSSY... EATER
(Holy News / News)

GWYNETH PALTROW'S ILLNESS DUE TO BOWEL PROBLEM?

7. MELLOW FELLOW
(Holy News / News)

SINGER DONOVAN TO CREATE UNIVERSITY FOR MEDITATION

8. Danielle Learns Shetty-quette
(Holy News / News)

Shilpa Shetty and Danielle Lloyd meet for the first time after Celebrity Big Brother

9. The Name's Winehouse, Amy Winehouse
(Holy News / News)

Amy Winehouse is being courted by producer Barbara Broccoli to appear in the next instalment of Jame

10. Detectives on Jill Dando case
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

HA HA YOU FUCKING BENT CUNTS.

11. Gays / Me
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...by Face in the A-Team as an 8 year old. You don't need to be ''Little Brittan'' camp to prove you're bent my gay friends, you're not all in Cinderella at the Lyceum you know! CUNTS to gays for b...

12. GNER
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...r in advance the reason for me travelling hasn't yet become apparent, and as long as I'm prepared to be bent over and pumped for every penny of the ludicrous price of a standard open return should I s...

13. Holy Moly
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For calling Sienna Miller "grubby titted" all the time. You must be fucking bent if you don't want to do her. Maybe you should spank the Monkey instead.

14. jason donovan
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...very ounce of dignity from themselves trying to get a bit of extra cash. Jason, Iceland have thoroughly bent you over and given you a frosty couple of lenghts infront of the whole nation. How can you ...

15. London Mayer
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

We have a choice between a sleazy cunt hell bent on furthering his own career and ripping off the successful business people who make london such a wealthy city or the sugar puff monster

16. Theo Pathitis
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ting the occasional decent person with a remotely benevolent idea as some kind of radical activist hell bent on inseminating fascists with goodness. I wouldn't worry Theo, they don't stand a chanc...

17. TicketMaster (again)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For the second week running, I get bent over by these fuckers. £2.50 service charge per ticket. Then... ...the cunts charge me £2.50 for the priveledge of PRINTING THE TICKETS OUT MYSELF... UTTE

18. Top Gear
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...c schoolboy cunts constantly reinforcing their fragile machismo by doing jokes about how they're so not bent. The way they dress and act suggests otherwise. ...

19. Bettany Hughes
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

I spend the entire duration of her many documentaries imagining her bent across my knee whilst I administer a sound spanking - who said ancient history was boring?

20. Dave Kitson
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...ers were 10 times the player I was. I got lucky. If I went back into my neighbourhood in a Porsche or a Bentley there would be hell to pay. That's just cars. I have no jewellery. I don't wear any chai...

21. Jim Broadbent
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

He's great isn't he. I love him.

22. Prince Jeffri
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...rnicating couples, and over a million on a clock that did the same, spent millions on insane customised bentleys he never drove, until his brother found out he had managed to piss the best part of a b...

23. Richard Branson
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...t ''Fucking up all our telly, sport and everything else they touch'', coffin dodging Aussie cunt to GET BENT. Ninja Skillz, I salute you. I''ve been drinking, so I reserve the right to call him a M...

24. Roque Santa Cruz
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... because they rescued his football career shows that not all footballers are greedy cunts, unlike David Bentley....

25. Stuart Pearce
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...ced at both Forest and England. Fucking miles better than ''Cashley'' Cole too, and he never drove a Bentley. Heres to you psycho!...

26. M Khan is bent...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

M Khan is bent

27. When being photographed, no matter how much they t...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

... how much they try to achieve the opposite, Gordon Ramsay and Duncan Bannatyne always manage to look as bent as a nine bob note...