1. SPIDEY BLOODY SPIDEY
(Holy News / News)

BONO'S MUSICAL EXPECTED TO COST $40M

2. PREGNANT, ACTUALLY
(Holy News / News)

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY RECKONS GETTING UP THE DUFF MAY DISPEL ANOREXIA RUMOURS

3. FONEJACKER IS BACK! WIN FONEJACKER GOODIES
(Holy News / Competition)

FONEJACKER DVD AND DVD PLAYER UP FOR GRABS

4. OUR MONEY'S ON ROSEANNE
(Holy News / News)

ROSEANNE BARR BRANDS ANGELINA JOLIE 'EVIL'

5. SHEEN IT ALL BEFORE
(Holy News / News)

CHARLIE SHEEN AND DENISE RICHARDS STILL ARGUING

6. ROCK IN THE DOCK?
(Holy News / News)

CHRIS ROCK HOAXED OVER CHILD SEX CHARGES

7. LIKE A VIRGIN HIGH?
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA PLANS TO BUILD A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR SCHOOL IN MALAWI

8. ALEXANDER THE GREAT
(Holy News / News)

ALEXANDER MCQUEEN IS NOT A PARIS HILTON FAN

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

10. CAN'T BUY ME LOVE
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON WOULD LIKE TO BUY A CHEETAH

11. SHALLOW KNAVE
(Holy News / News)

EWAN MCGREGOR GREATLY ADMIRES DANIEL DAY-LEWIS

12. TIGER FEET. AND HEAD AND BODY
(Holy News / News)

SIEGFRIED AND ROY EMPLOYEE MADE TO DISSECT DEAD CAT

13. DOSHUA TREE
(Holy News / News)

U2 SIGN 12 YEAR DEAL WITH LIVE NATION FOR OVER 100M DOLLARS

14. BORDERLINE CRAZY?
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA MAKES LITTLE SENSE IN MAGAZINE INTERVIEW

15. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON TRIES HER HAND AT BELLY DANCING

16. SAFARI SO-GOOD-I
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON DESCRIBES WHAT SHE LIKES ABOUT AFRICA

17. FRESH PRINCE OF OUTER SPACE
(Holy News / News)

WILL SMITH STILL DENYING HE HAS TURNED TO SCIENTOLOGY

18. DOUBLE SPREAD
(Holy News / News)

HUGH HEFFER WANTS THE OLSEN TWINS TO POSE FOR PLAYBOY

19. DUMBO GETS JUMBO
(Holy News / News)

DAVID HASSELHOFF ALLOWED TO COLLECT TREASURED POSESSIONS

20. GOING THERON AND ON...
(Holy News / News)

CHARLIZE THERON MOANS ABOUT THE MEDIA

21. VIVA FOREVER?
(Holy News / News)

As long as 'forever' doesn't include any commitments in China, South Africa, Australia or Argentina

22. WOMB RAIDER
(Holy News / News)

BRANGELINA PREGNANT WITH TWINS

23. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

24. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

25. THE REMAINS OF THE PAY
(Holy News / News)

MARILYN MANSON SUED FOR BUYING HUMAN REMAINS

26. GUCCI GUCCI COO
(Holy News / News)

MADGE FLOGS HANDBAGS FOR STARVING AFRICAN BABIES

27. PRINCE HARRY AND CHELSY BACK TOGETHER
(Holy News / News)

COUPLE PLAN RECONCILLIATION MEAL

28. BANDA GOLD
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA'S SON TO MEET HIS NATURAL FATHER AGAIN

29. LOCATION, PROMOTION, ADOPTION
(Holy News / News)

BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE PLAN TO BUY HOUSE IN EUROPE

30. THE BORE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE
(Holy News / News)

EWAN MCGREGOR IS FED UP WITH THE UK