1. GO ON, GIS A QUID
(Holy News / News)

GISELE BUNDCHEN IS NAMED THE HIGEST EARNING MODEL

2. WHERE ANGELS WALK
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA'S SECRET ANGELS SOMEHOW WANGLE A HOLLYWOOD AWARD

3. Night Of The Living Heroes
(Holy News / News)

News from last night's Heroes press conference

4. "You're Hired... Come Back, You Bastard!"
(Holy News / News)

The as yet unannounced winner of The Apprentice tell S'ralan where he can stick his job

5. Apprentice World Exclusive!
(Holy News / News)

The contestants for the new series of The Apprentice have been announced

6. Apprentice World Exclusive!
(Holy News / News)

contestants named in BBC's The Apprentice

7. Adrian Chiles
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Yes we know what your name is you fat melted welly faced cunt.

8. Adrian Edmondson
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

What a twat you are for signing up to do an unfunny, (could clearly see from the advert) canned laughter, shower of shite ITV sitcom. Noticed you have tried implementing some Bottom style fights too,

9. Adrian Edmondson & Rik Mayall
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Go on, lads. Do some funny voices. Nah, that's just like the ones you did in the Young Ones. Go on, try again. Nah. That's just like the ones you did in Filthy Rich & Catflap. Got any others? Well, th

10. andy murray
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...am missing the headlines about rising fuel and falling house prices. So lets ' hurry a murray' back over Hadrians Wall, game set and match ...

11. HM
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For letting the Adrian Childs hero posting through. I now know who was kicked off the Apprentice last night as I missed it due to watching the footie. Thanks. No point downloading it now.

12. Scots
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...m their independence and let's have Holland instead. Any volunteers to assist with the fortification of Hadrian's Wall ? Form an orderly queue......

13. The One Show
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

In one seamless link from Adrian "human/pig cross breed" Chiles and Myleene "everywhere! like dog shit in the park" Klass. It goes from a feature on tips for successful badger spotting to a feature

14. Adrian Childs on You're Fired
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

To Raiph about about Michael: "How could you fall for such an odeous little twat?". Couldn't have put it better myself.

15. NEW PORTISHEAD ALBUM
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...ver John Carpenter used to make the ace synthy noises for the soundtrack to 'Assault On Precinct 13' and Adrian Utley seems to have unlearned the guitar to spectacularly nihilistic effect, particula...