1. ZERO ZERO DIGNITY
(Holy News / News)

JAMES BOND SELLS OUT TO COKE ZERO

2. MUST TRI HARDER
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ IN TRAINING FOR A TRIATHLON

3. PARTY FAVOURS
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN SELLING SPONSORSHIP FOR HER PARTY

4. TELETEXT COMPETITION TERMS AND CONDITIONS
(Holy News / Competition)

T&CS FOR THE HM TELETEXT COMP

5. Day 84: 22nd August
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Kara-Louise, Jonty, Tracey nominated. Two to go on Friday

6. Day 53: 22nd July
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Chanelle misses watching Big Brother on the telly

7. The Hex Factor
(Holy News / News)

The Hex Factor

8. Sky Customer Service
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I have just dashed off my 22nd email to you in order to try and resolve a complaint that you have been aware of for the last 6 months. The emails keep getting lost. By way of an explanation you tell m