1. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

ERNEST BORGNINE REVEALS THE MASTURBATORY SECRET OF ETERNAL YOUTH

2. IDEAL HOLMES? NO!
(Holy News / News)

GUY RITCHIE INTENDS TO MAKE PLENTY MORE FILMS

3. KEEP OFF THE GRASS
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW AND KIMBERLY STEWART TAKE THEIR DRUNKEN FUMBLING TO SOMEONE'S GARDEN

4. I PORKED THE LAW?
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW SPOTTED KISSING KIMBERLEY STEWART

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. SNORE LOSER
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BLAINE FORCED TO POSTPONE DEATH-DEFYING STUNT

7. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

10. GEEK DEPRIVATION
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BLAINE TO ATTEMPT TO STAY AWAKE FOR A LONG TIME

11. NO SHOW WINO
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE CANCELS ALL TOUR DATES THIS YEAR

12. REHAB YES YES YES
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE MAY RETURN TO THE PRIORY

13. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

14. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

15. Mika greases up to the fatties
(Holy News / News)

Mika says he loves fat people and Ugly Betty

16. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

17. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

18. Victoria Beckham Issues Ultimatum
(Holy News / News)

Posh is getting annoyed with glamour girl Jordan, Katie Price, for stealing her thunder in America

19. WTF?
(Holy News / News)

teletubbies camp it up

20. WTF?
(Holy News / News)

What the fuck were the Teletubbies on?

21. 5 Live
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

why does your football commentary sound as if it is being beamed to us from the 1950's? Sort the sound quality out you cunts!

22. ITV
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Providing us with a shit sandwich with extra shit since 1955.

23. Rev Paisley
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ocracy yet runs his church like a Protestant pope and his party [DUP] like a medieval despot." In 1956, Rev. Paisley abducted a 16 year old girl, Maura Lyons, who was in a dispute with her parent...

24. Brian Harris
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Former Cardiff and Everton player who died today aged 72. He signed for Everton in 1954 for £10. That is class. The golden age of football. RIP.

25. Any documentaries on the 1950's will include a fam...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Any documentaries on the 1950's will include a family sat aroudn watching a wooden telly, the wife wearing terrible glasses.

26. Prince is living proof that Liberace fucked Little...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Prince is living proof that Liberace fucked Little Richard back in the 1950s