1. WALK THE BANK
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY DEPP TO RECEIVE RECORD PAYDAY FOR NEW PIRATES FILM

2. HBO NO-NO
(Holy News / News)

KAYNE WEST TV SHOW 'TOO HARDCORE' TO AIR?

3. FANTASTIC PHWOAR
(Holy News / News)

JESSICA ALBA IS GAGGING FOR YOUNG MEN. AND WOMEN.

4. EX APPEAL
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY POSTS YOUTUBE TRIBUTE TO MOSSY

5. JOHNNY CASH
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY DEPP KEEPING BUSY FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS

6. WIN TOMMY COOPER DVDS
(Holy News / Competition)

FIVE COOPER DVDS AND TWO OF HIS COMPLETE COLLECTION

7. DREADING THE BOARDS
(Holy News / News)

BIZARRE 'AMERICAN PSYCHO' MUSICAL ON THE WAY

8. 'MAN' SEEKS 'WOMAN'
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY DESPERATE TO SHACK UP WITH KATE MOSS AGAIN

9. ARTHUR CONAN DOOMED
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW TO PLAY DR WATSON IN GUY RITCHIE'S SHERLOCK HOLMES?

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. MURDERING THE DANCEFLOOR
(Holy News / News)

KNIGHTLEY AND BLOOM TO REMAKE TRAVOLTA CLASSIC

12. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

13. DAYS OF BLUNDER
(Holy News / News)

NICOLE KIDMAN IS MOST OVERPAID ACTRESS

14. DROOPY PIANIST
(Holy News / News)

MICHAEL DOUGLAS TO PLAY LIBERACE IN MOVIE

15. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

16. SHOOT OUT BOY
(Holy News / News)

PETE WENTZ ONCE PLAYED RUSSIAN ROULETTE

17. OTTOWAN-KER
(Holy News / News)

VIGGO MORTENSEN FORGETS WHICH COUNTRY HE IS IN

18. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

NOEL GALLAGHER ATTACKED ON STAGE IN TORONTO

19. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

20. GREG'S NASTIES
(Holy News / News)

GREG GARCIA IS NOT AN ALEC BALDWIN FAN

21. RISKY BUSINESS
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE WORRIED ABOUT CRAZED STALKERS

22. PREMIUM GRADE SUSPECT
(Holy News / News)

HELEN MIRREN SAYS SHE USED TO LOVE COCAINE

23. JESSICA'S GUFF GAFFE
(Holy News / News)

A LOAD OF VILE EXCRETED AIR... BUT ENOUGH ABOUT HER SONGS, JESSICA SIMPSON FARTS TOO

24. HULK AND X-MEN UP FOR GRABS
(Holy News / Competition)

WIN ORIGINAL MARVEL CARTOON DVDS

25. RUN FOR THE HILLS!
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BECKHAM'S LIFE TO BE MADE INTO MUSICAL

26. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

27. STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE…
(Holy News / News)

ANOTHER RONSON TAKES TO THE DECKS

28. OLYMPIC-SIZED EGO
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ SLIGHTED BY SOME SWIMMER

29. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

ERNEST BORGNINE REVEALS THE MASTURBATORY SECRET OF ETERNAL YOUTH

30. NATIONAL BUFFOON
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON IS BEING SUED BY MOVIE PRODUCERS