1. NO FREE LAUNCH
(Holy News / News)

KRISTEN DAVIS REFUSES TO APPEAR AT MOVIE DVD LAUNCH

2. LOVE WILL TEAR US APART
(Holy News / News)

COURTNEY LOVE WAS BAD FOR NIRVANA, SAYS FORMER MANAGER

3. KANYE TURN THE LIGHTS OFF?
(Holy News / News)

KANYE WEST ESCAPES CHARGES OVER PHOTOGRAPHER ATTACK

4. REPEAT OFFENSIVE
(Holy News / News)

J.LO'S CHILDREN NEVER WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES TWICE

5. R KELLY'S PHANTOM MOLE
(Holy News / News)

SINGER CLAIMS HE'S NOT GUILTY AS HE HAS A MOLE NOT PRESENT IN THE VIDEO

6. TOP BUN
(Holy News / News)

SURI CRUISE HAS AN EXPENSIVE BIRTHDAY PARTY

7. PETA SELLERS
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS OFFERED JOB BY PETA

8. YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER COFFIN
(Holy News / News)

FILM LEGEND ROY SCHEIDER DIES AGE 75

9. DOUBLE YOUR AGE, SMITH
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE SHORT ON STATURE, MONEY AND TALENT

10. NIGHT OF THE LIVID FED
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS SEEKS TO EXTEND CHILDREN’S VISITING HOURS

11. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

12. Money (That's What I Want)
(Holy News / News)

Paul McCartney settles with Heather Mills

13. You's The Daddy
(Holy News / News)

Eddie Murphy is confirmed as the father of Mel Brown's baby, say her 'people'

14. Enviromentalists
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ve just subscribed to a japanese website that has a webcam attached to a harpoon gun on a whaling ship, $1000 and you get to click the mouse, fire the harpoon and fucking ruin moby dicks day, excellen...

15. Petrol Companies
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The price of oil has now dropped from $150 to under $100 per barrel, which I work out to be a 1/3 drop in price. Why then, have the robbing bastards not dropped petrol prices by 1/3??? Robbing thiev

16. Sweet 16 on MTV
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... have stupidly rich parents throw their spoiled, inane daughters a birthday party costing an average of $100,000. Then the dopey fucking parents buy their devil spawn a fucking $100,000 Mercedes an...