ELTON JOHN BLOG

ELTON JOHN GOSSIP, NEWS, PICTURES, VIDEOS & SCANDALS.

WHO: Elton John aka Reginald Kenneth Dwight
WHEN: 25 March, 1947
WHERE: Pinner, Middlesex, UK
WHAT: Camp pop tantrum thrower
HEIGHT: 5 ft 7 in
KNOWN FOR: Singing some songs, being pretty bloody unpleasant, being rich and wearing wigs

FULL BIOG ALL STORIES

NEWSMOUND

Published on Thu 10 April 2008 by

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

Angelina Jolie sorts out the world's problems. ASL

Rihanna knew that mole would come in handy one day. Dlisted

Sean Penn's on-off divorce is off again. TMZ

Natalie Portman appears to be dating the singer from the Magic Numbers. WWTDD

David Beckham puzzled as he is stopped by one fifth of the Village People. Cityrag

Kate Hudson looking classy in her new film. Celebwarship

A sad day for Richard Curtis. The 'romcom' is dying on its arse. Mollygood

Angelina Jolie's brother demonstrates who got the looks in the family. ICYDK

Elton John is holding down David Furnish and his helium head. CDL

Geri Halliwell looking like one of those novelty knitted toilet roll covers. INO

Johnny Depp to marry his little French songbird? IDLYITW

NEWSMOUND

Published on Tue 25 September 2007 by

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

Viggo Mortensen in a NSFW naked knife fight. What a stag do that was. Mollygood

Judge stops just short of calling Jeremy Kyle a tw*t. Dailysnack

Mike 'baddest man on the planet' Tyson has been very naughty again. Jail beckons. YahooNews

When Dennis Rodman parties, he really lets go. Dlisted

Tara Reid and some big butch bastard do London. Celebwarship

Do men prefer the smell of Britney Spears or the smell of Vulva? NSFW Jezebel

In 1997 Elton John 'kidnapped' Robbie Williams to cure his addictions. Now he has his sights on Britney Spears. CDL

If Rihanna tells you to do something, you really should obey the mistress. DerekHail

Jamelia calls 'X Factor' winner Leona a "poor man's Mariah Carey". Meow! DigitalSpy

Pete Burns and Neil Ruddock on 'Celebrity Wife Swap'. God help us all. Heatworld

Something about the way you look tonight...

Published on Thu 23 August 2007 by

Elton John spotted looking like an emo teenager

...makes me think, "Who is that oversized My Chemical Romance fanboy twat?" More pictures below.

I'm Still Standing, unfortunately

Published on Mon 13 August 2007 by

Elton John puts comfort before death in suicide attempt

There's a new biography of Elton John by David Buckley on its way out, so expect a steady trickle of hilarious tales about how the short, fat fool behaved like a complete arse during his drug binge days.

Impure And Simple

Published on Fri 20 July 2007 by

Sir Elton John wanted to have dinner with Danny from 'Hearsay'

There's a pattern emerging here. Sir Elton John turns his hissy invective upon a figure in the music business, launches a big gay tirade against them and then a few weeks later apologises and asks them out for dinner. Crazy flirtation technique, Sir! Well, if that's the only way to float your boat, Sir Elton, go for it. I won't be telling your partner, David Furniture.

Spin-Cycle Wizard

Published on Thu 12 July 2007 by

Elton John couldn't work a washing machine until he was 43

Increasingly creepy, mental little waxwork Sir Elton John has admitted to US show 'Enough Rope' that he was once so self-obsessed he was unable to carry out menial household tasks.

This all changed when his partner David Furnish strode into his life, grasped the Lenor, explained the spin cycle on the washing machine and highlighted the havoc that Hollywood's hard water was having on his kettle element.

When Elton was younger he was a crazy free spirit, always convinced he was correct and unable to take advice from lessers. He could cheerfully admit that he was a drug addict, but too ashamed to ask for advice on basic household issues.

Or, in short, he was rich and he had people to do it for him.

Now he's even richer and has a partner who can tell him about boil washes. Oh give him a fucking Lordship, he's suffered enough!

Gaudy Knight And The Pits

Published on Tue 05 June 2007 by

Elton John may not be allowed to build his own art gallery

Elton John, the shy and retiring example of good taste and minimalism, is reported to be flapping his hands in frustration and having tantrums while shaking his pudgy fists at the sky.

The reason? He may not be allowed to construct the gaudy shit palace he calls an art gallery in the grounds of his already monumentally tacky mansion.

The Baron of Bad Taste had put in plans for a stately pleasure dome to be open to the public, who would wander around and gaze in awe at his glittering baubles and paintings of dogs playing cards.

Unfortunately, Malcolm Beer (great name), a local councillor, has voiced his opposition, albeit with remarkable restraint.

"The appearance of the proposed gallery seems to be… architecturally confused," Beer said.

Which is another way of saying: "It looks like some old queen went berserk with the magic markers and designed a knocking shop for pirates, aristocratic dandies and the type of people who think 'baroque' is a wrestler."

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