It seems Lindsay Lohan has temporarily forgotten about her 'friend' Samantha Ronson as she pursues merman Michael Phelps for a date. The Olympic legend had several calls from her as he sat with friends in a hotel in London this week (still finishing his 20,000 calorie breakfast no doubt) and was seen showing pals some of her texts and saying: "It's Lindsay. It's Lindsay."

You may recall we mentioned the fact that Samantha Ronson may be planning an autobiography, and that Lindsay Lohan's father Michael was unhappy at the bad publicity that this would bring to his daughter, despite it being really none of his business.

After a pregnancy lasting three years Gwen Stefani gives birth to a boy. Hollyscoop

Rumer Willis's boyfriend tries and fails to outdo her on the chin front. Dlisted

No idea who this blind item is about. Oh, they seem to have named him… Mollygood

Brad and Angelina invite the French neighbours over for a party and then hope to be left alone. Laineygossip

Daniel Radcliffe takes his pube-beard to the US. PopsugarUK

Lindsay Lohan refusing to visit Planet Bra again. Yeeeah

Brigitte Nielsen is happy and no longer crazy. Honestly. Celebritysmackblog

Rhys Ifans the scarecrow looking for a yellow brick road with Kimberly Stewart. CDL

Would you like to date Jennifer Aniston and her chin? You may have a chance, so expect the call. IDLYITW

If there was ever a better example of how deluded Lindsay Lohan is, we'd like to hear it. Despite apparently preferring the fairer sex these days, Lindsay has not been able to fully contain the heterosexual beast that lurks in her and has developed a liking for Olympic swimming champ Michael Phelps. And how does she intend to catch her slippery quarry? Through his mum of course...

While you might have been forgiven for thinking that the Lohan family was completely devoid of morals - a collection of fame-hungry publicity leeches, alcoholics and serial fornicators - you would be wrong. There is a line to be drawn and that line is plastic surgery. The Lohans hate it apparently. Although at the rate that LiLo is degrading, it'll be interesting to see if she has the same opinion in ten years.

Ah. The ongoing 'are they or aren't they?' saga between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. The definitive answer is: 'Yes, they ARE the most annoying pair of idiots on the celebrity circuit at the moment.' The latest rumour which the giggling pair of naughty schoolgirls are attempting to foist upon the world is that they have matching tattoos. Crazy and wild, I'm sure you'll agree. But mummy Ronson claims they don't...

Hooray for Dolly Parton! The country music legend (who looks remarkable for 105) made a few jokes about Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan at a concert in LA the other night. And assuming that neither Britney or Lindsay have much in the way of a sense of humour, it could be hair extensions at dawn the next time either of them bump into Dolly.

There have been rumours floating around for a while about Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson planning a wedding (now that gay marriage has been legalised in California). This may come as a huge surprise, but Lindsay's publicity-shy, retiring father Michael (the Mitch Winehouse of LA) has broken his silence and decided to comment on the unfounded rumours. As usual.

Amy Winehouse has a Slush Puppy machine delivered to her house? The luxury! TMZ

Lindsay Lohan forgot to stop off at Planet Bra on her way out. WWTDD

Katie Holmes in auditions for the Dexy's Midnight Runners comeback tour. Dlisted

Rhys Ifans acting like an utter prick, as usual. Contactmusic

Christina Applegate diagnosed with breast cancer. Celebwarship

More on Verne Troyer. Could you be scared of his 'drunken rage' when he isn’t even three feet high? Mollygood

James Blunt blasts media intrusion. Co-incidentally, he has a new single out today. ICYDK

Tommy Lee asks Pamela Anderson to marry him every day. Must have a shocking memory. Hollyscoop

When Christian Bale lost all sense and began to resemble the Hoff. Laineygossip

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are living a lie. Yeeeah

Hayden Panettiere not too delighted at getting a parking ticket. Mikeymars

Kate Moss goes on holiday. With her daughter. Popsugar

Los Angeles' police chief, Wiliam Bratton, has announced today that crime rates have gone down significantly in recent months because Britney is now wearing knickers, Lindsay is a 'lesbian' and Paris is out of town. Obviously he's talking about paparazzi-related crime, not the other type like murder, rape or armed robbery.