WALK THE BANK

Published on Mon 06 October 2008 by CJ

JOHNNY DEPP TO RECEIVE RECORD PAYDAY FOR NEW PIRATES FILM

Despite the last two instalments being about as confusing as downing a bottle of absinthe and trying to decipher a book of Magic Eye pictures (ask your dad), it would seem that people just can't get enough of the godawful Pirates Of The Caribbean series, and film number four is officially on the way. Man alive - are there that many pain-addicted masochists out there?

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JOHNNY DEPP TO RECEIVE RECORD PAYDAY FOR NEW PIRATES FILM

MEAT THE BEATLES

Published on Mon 06 October 2008 by CJ

MACCA'S NEW SQUEEZE NOW A CARD-CARRYING VEGETARIAN

Good news for Nancy Shevell - her relationship with ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney seems to be a deeply committed one. Bad news for Nancy Shevell - if she ever fancies swerving into the nearest McDonald's Drive-Thru to order a Double Bacon Greaseburger, then she's going to have to restrain herself.

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MACCA, VEGETARIAN, paul mccartney, heather mills, nancy shevell

YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA BE MY LOVER

Published on Mon 06 October 2008 by roryk

VICTORIA BECKHAM ADMITS THAT MEN DON'T FIND HER SEXY

Although you can accuse Victoria Beckham of being one of the most deluded people in the world when it comes to talking about her 'fashion empire', you can't say she doesn't know the truth when it comes to rating her sex appeal. The former Spice Girl knows that it is impossible for men to find a woman who looks like a cross between a little boy and an alien sexy.

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VICTORIA BECKHAM, MEN, SEXY, unsexy, glamour

THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB

Published on Mon 06 October 2008 by roryk

BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL WON'T BE RELEASED EARLY

It looks like there must be someone with at least a grain of sense in the Probabtion Service as Blake Fielder-Civil's bid to be released early from his sentence for perverting the course of Amy's career has been rejected. All we need now is his sentence to be increased to hanging and we can all get back to living our lives in peace.

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BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL, RELEASED, EARLY, rehab, georgette civil, amy winehouse, probabtion

IS THIS THE GREATEST NAME IN THE WORLD?

Published on Fri 03 October 2008 by HorseWorm

If a picture paints 1000 words, then two words added to a picture equals utter amazingness

Some joker amuses himself at the expense of a local news team.

There is c-literally nothing we can add.

Source: Anorak

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mike litoris, picture, funny

IS IT ANY BLUNDER

Published on Fri 03 October 2008 by CJ

KEANE TO UNVEIL NEW 'FUNKY' DIRECTION

Pint-sized pop star Prince has cast a wide net of influence over the music world – yet not even he could have predicted that he would prove an inspiration to boring moon-faced non-rockers Keane, the band with possibly the most punchable facial expressions in music (see above).

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KEANE, 'FUNKY', DIRECTION, perfect symmetry, prince

HBO NO-NO

Published on Fri 03 October 2008 by CJ

KAYNE WEST TV SHOW 'TOO HARDCORE' TO AIR?

Despite labelling himself as the 'black Larry David', it seems that hip-hop star Kanye West won't be following in the small-screen footsteps of the Seinfeld creator just yet – not with the news that his filmed HBO TV comedy pilot may never see the light of day.

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KAYNE WEST, TV SHOW, TOO HARDCORE, hbo, larry david

OWN GOALY MOLY

Published on Fri 03 October 2008 by roryk

JOE KINNEAR'S FOUR LETTER RANT AT JOURNALISTS

If Newcastle United caretaker manager Joe Kinnear is looking for a career outside football, he should maybe have a go at PR - he certainly seems to have a way with journalists. Opening a press conference about his four-day reign at the club, he singled out Mirror journalist Simon Bird, calling him "a c**t" before calling journalists "so f***ing slimy". A-MAZING. Imagine how many viewers News 24 would get if all press conferences were this good. Transcript after the jump...

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JOE KINNEAR, FOUR LETTER RANT, JOURNALISTS, newcastle united, mirror,

NEWSMOUND

Published on Fri 03 October 2008 by IanMcShane

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

Madonna rocking that whole 'Skeletor' look. TMZ

Samantha Ronson thinks of two reasons she loves Lindsay Lohan. WWTDD

Catherine Zeta-Jones in full-on clown make-up. Dlisted

Sacha Baron Cohen as 'Bruno' targets Stella McCartney fashion show. Towleroad

Jimmy Smits is a rock-hard nutter, tasty in a fight. And a great actor, obviously. Contactmusic

Sophia Loren, looking like a old leather sofa left on a skip for a fortnight in the summer. Laineygossip

A superb simmering bowl of a certain flavour of soup. PopsugarUK

Jennifer Aniston is obsessed about tanning. Yeeeah

Celebrate good times, come on! Megan Fox is single again. Bild

Awful title, awful theme song, let's hope the actual Bond film is good. Mikeymars

Jeremy Piven claims he isn’t a sweaty cheapskate. The jury is out. Celebritysmackblog

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LINDSAY LOHAN, SAM RONSON, MEGAN FOX, JEREMY PIVEN, MADONNA, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, JENNIFER ANISTON, SOPHIA LOREN

HELP PROTECT DOLLY PARTON'S 'MOUNTAINS'

Published on Fri 03 October 2008 by HorseWorm

Country singer is named as ambassador for the most important mounds in the US

News just in from our Potentially Puerile Jokes Desk. Dolly Parton has been appointed as an ambassador for the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in the USA. The large-lunged country star grew up in the foothills of the Smokies in Tennessee and will now be keeping us abreast of the Park's 75th anniversary activities.

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Country singer, ambassador, dolly parton, breasts, great smoky mountains

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